what’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants ?

one’s a crusty bus station and one’s a busty crustacean

#i’ve told this joke a million times and it NEVER fails
Anonymous said:

do you ever get recognised in meatspace by your tumblr followers?


NOT EVER but let me tell you, someone tagged me in a post about an iguana shirt and i found almost the exact same shirt on ebay and im the only one who has bid on it

eventually its goign to be at my doorstop where i will be Legally Obligated to wear no other shirts for the rest of my life so if you see someone in the future, wearing this shirt, its me. its 100 percent really me. you should yell my name really loud if you see someone wearing it. dont worry if i dont respond at first just keep yelling